When Life Bites

UPDATE OPENS TOMORROW!!!!!

2012-01-26T15:19:00.001-06:00

I am so excited to go see this movie. I love Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum book series. It looks like the movie may be just as fun as the books.

I hope so.

Books are my escape.

When I'm having a stressfull day, or when I'm worrying about things too much, I whip out a book and relax for a while.

I used to read a lot more than I do now. But with another person in the house demanding some of my time, there is not as much time as there used to be to read. With a son in college, there is less money to buy them with.

I'm really hoping that I can find the time and a partner to go see this movie this weekend!

***UPDATE***

My sister and I went to see this movie Sunday afternoon. We ate too much popcorn, drank too much coke and laughed ... a lot. It was a nice, funny movie that was pretty true to the book.

Personally I don't agree with some of the choices for the actors who played certain roles, but it turned out okay.

My sister and I had a wonderful time, no kids, no significant others, just her and I. After the show we stopped by a resale shop and then decided we better get home to cook dinner before our spoiled families starve to death without us. LOL!

I hope you had a fantastic weekend.

Huh?

2012-01-16T13:35:00.000-06:00

Well I was back in the ER Friday night. I had felt blah all week and Friday was pretty bad, but I had been working longer hours due to training. So I thought I was just overtired ... boy I wish.

By the time I got home I was hurting so bad that I was vomiting in the front yard. My son ran inside to get my S/O. He took me to the ER and sat with me through the night. I know some people who have passed kidney stones with little pain ... I'm jealous!

For me, both times the pain has been worse than any labor pains could think to be. I don't like to fall apart in front of others, but these boogers made me do it.

They finally released me in the wee hours of Saturday morning. Why no I don't remember the time, they had just given me a double dose of pain meds.

Whhheeeeeeeeeeeee!

The CRT or whatever showed that the stone was almost through it's course, so they pumped me full of pain and nausea meds and sent me home. It was the first time I hadn't hurt since 6 pm including with the pain meds. Needless to say I was exhausted and passed out when I got home.

When I woke up later I felt no pain, but was very tired and dehydrated. I took it easy the rest of the weekend and tried to drink lots of fluids. Sunday when I woke up all my muscles around my rib cage and back hurt due to all the vomiting.

They still hurt today.

I'm back at work, but boy did I want just one more day of taking it easy.

Loss

2012-01-10T12:08:00.000-06:00

I read the following poem at Curse Of The Invisible Illness and it resonated. I thought I would share it with you today.

After a While

by Veronica Shoftsall

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning, and company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts, and presents aren't promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead, with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans, and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure;

You really are strong, you really do have worth;

And you learn, and you learn

With every goodbye you learn.

Really?!

2012-01-04T16:08:00.000-06:00

I have probably made every one of these faces more than once ... more than twice ... hell who's kidding a LOT in the last couple of months. The company I work for was purchased by a larger company and while I think the benefits to this will be many, getting everything moved over is a complicated PIB!

It just seems like everything from Payroll changes to choosing our new Medical benefits etc is way more complicated than it needs to be. It's difficult to locate the information you need. Data is on two or three different websites. It takes multiple tries to get anything set up. Just a PAIN.

I've finally just about finished most of that and now we are changing over to their software programs over the next three months. I'm dreading to see how complicated this is going to be.

{big sigh}

OK, I'll quite griping now about work, because actually I like my job and I like the people I work with. I just wish this change would have happened with fewer complications.

So, I hope that everyone had a great Christmas and a peaceful New Year. I didn't push myself or stress out this year and I can tell the difference ... Big Time. I had four days off for Christmas and another four days off for New Years.

It was FABULOUS!

I could soooo get used to that. But no rest for the wicked, gotta make the dough to pay those bills ... LOL!

Hugs to everyone and may laughter bowl you over.

Fly-By

2011-12-28T17:00:00.000-06:00

Christmas was great. We had fun, visited, ate to much and caught up on sleep. I've been extremely busy with "end of month" stuff here at work, so there's not been much time to post. I'll post details later.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2011-12-22T15:37:00.000-06:00

I'm not quite there yet, but I can feel the light twinkling of some Christmas spirit. I have smiled more today and have been wishing all my co-workers a Merry Christmas.

I feel a lighter.

I hope this continues on through tomorrow. I'm hoping to have a wonderful meal with my family and enjoy their company and watch them open their gifts.

My boss just told us to finish up whatever we are working on and head home. Ha, yep I was working ... working on this post ... LOL!

I hope that you all take the time to remember what Christmas is all about. I also wish you all a peaceful, joyfully happy Christmas.

Melancholy Christmas

2011-12-20T15:14:00.000-06:00

I thought I was doing better this year, but the "grinchyness" hit me. I've been battling this "grinchyness" for days now. Then last Friday, my boyfriends brother-in-law passed away. It was horrible and sad. I had not known David for very long, but he was a nice man. He liked to make people laugh.

He leaves behind numerous people who are grieving his loss. There's not much I can do for any of them except hug them tight and reassure them that while this will always be painful, it does get better. Very slowly, but it does.

I lost the kindest, sincerest, loving friend anyone could ever have on December 31st 1999 ... My MOM. It was devastating and we all had an extremely difficult time in our grieving. It is still painful sometimes to think about the loss, but it brings a smile to think about my Mom.

David's death has not only brought the loss of a friend and the reality that we are never promised the next day, hour, minute but has opened the wound of the loss of my Mom. My Mom LOVED Christmas and I should make more of an effort, because I know she would want me to.

I may not have Christmas decorations up at home; but, I baked this year. My Granny and Mom both enjoyed cooking and baking, I used to. So if you stop by, there may be no twinkling lights, but there is my Granny's recipe Pumpkin Bread.

Out dang Grinchyness ... out I say.

I'm a Grinch

2011-12-14T12:04:00.000-06:00

I don't know about you, but I thought I was doing good with the Christmas spirit this year. But it seems that Grinchness has swallowed me whole. I've been a gripey, grumpy, mean ole heifer this week and I can't see to claw my way clear of this funk.

We have had big changes this year at my job, that will be culminating the first quarter of next year and anxiety is getting to me. There are some family financial issues that I need to stop procrastinating on and just find the time to do it. I also have been having some medical issues that I keep pushing aside to take care of everyone else.

It's time to try and destress this coming weekend, get my thoughts together, make a plan of action and then DO IT.

If I survive my Grinchness.

Or my co-workers and family do.

I need a Nap

2011-12-08T12:26:00.000-06:00

Tired, I'm just so tired.

This is the first year in quite a few years that I am in the "Holiday Spirit." But the Holiday season is busy and cram packed full of things to do. Of course, I always try to do too much. Last week I just kept going and going, like I thought I was the Energizer bunny or something; until my body finally slammed me to a HALT and said no more.

Yep it caught up to me and I stayed horizontal most of Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Then Tuesday night I had to keep Dad up til midnight, then wake him back up at 3 a.m. Dad needed to be sleep deprived for his EEG test on Wednesday morning, so guess who else was sleep deprived.

Uh Huh, that would be ME.

So after running myself to the point of exhaustion shutdown and then participating in the sleep deprivation, I'm in a "flare" revival.

Everything and I do mean everything has flared.

Digestive system,
fibro,
sjorgrens ...

it ain't pretty people.

I still have a few gifts to get for Christmas and I'm trying to spread it out over the next week to conserve energy. I don't think I'm going to get everything done, especially the decorating, because...

while my house is not decorated, my work cubicle is.

Thankful

2011-11-29T10:54:00.000-06:00

The week before last, one of my Aunt's passed away from lung cancer. I was not fortunate enough to have spent much time with her and her family, but what I remember about her is her kindness. Other than my Mom, she was one of the kindest people I've ever known. I grieve for and with her three sons and many grandchildren and family. She will be greatly missed.

Thanksgiving was a very thought provoking day as all the things in my life that I am grateful for ran through my brain. I'm thankful that I've been here to see my son grow up. He will be 20 this weekend and I love him and am proud of him. I'm thankful for my family, friends and that my health is not as bad as it could be.

I pray that all of you have many things to be thankful for and that this next year brings many blessings into your life.

Love and Big Hugs,

2011-11-09T11:42:00.000-06:00

Hallelujah! It appears that the stone has passed. When and where I do not know, but hallelujah it is gone. I hope that this post finds everyone doing well. At this point in time me and mine are doing pretty dang well.

Hugs,
Karen

Stones

2011-10-26T12:04:00.000-05:00

The urologist says that I have to have an ultrasound done of my kidney, urethra (sp?) and bladder. He also said that I need to pass the stone soon as the kidney can only be blocked from the bladder for so long without causing damage. O_O Really ... really, really? DUH!

So I'm at work, with the kidney stone setting in my urethra tube causing chaos. I'm drinking enough water to sail a ship and it's still not moving.

2011-10-21T14:44:00.000-05:00

Here I am, still with a kidney stone ... and I'm quietly going crazy. Even when the pain is not intense, it's like I'm walking around in a constant brain fog. Not to mention that it's taken me the last two weeks to get my "flares' back under control.

The hospital did not have half my meds and gave me some others that made me worse. So really by the time I left not only did I still have the frackin kidney stone, but my gastric paresis was in full swing, my blood pressure was up, my sugar was out of whack, and I hurt everywhere, not just with the stone.

OK enough complaining. When I got to work this morning a friend had left me this funny. It made me smile, which I sorely needed, so I'm sharing.

Middle Age Texting Codes

ATD - at the doctor
BFF - best friend fell
BTW - bring the wheelchair
BYOT - bring your own teeth
GGPBL - gotta go, pacemaker battery low
GHA - got heartburn again
IMHO - is my hearing aid on?
LMDO - laughing my dentures out
OMMR - on my massage recliner
ROFLACGU - rolling on floor laughing and can't get up
TTYL - talk to you louder

and my personal favorite ...

FWIW - forgot where I was.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Kidney Stone

2011-10-17T18:38:00.000-05:00

Need I say more? Really? Well ok...

Friday, Oct 7th I woke up with a radiating pain in my abdomen. With all the digestive and other medical issues I have, I didn't think much of it. I took some pain meds, got ready and D and I headed into work. I was driving that morning and on the hour drive in, it was getting worse and worse. As we got close to my job, D suggested that I just pull into the ER. I said no, it will get better, you go on to school and if it keeps hurting I'll let you know and you can pick me up early when you get out of school.

Two hours later D told me "I told you so Mom." As the pain steadily increased I became nauseous and then became a permanent fixture in the restroom. A friend and co-worker agreed to take me to the local ER and off we went. As I was triaged and waiting to go in the back I told her to go on back to work I was fine. Uh huh, right.

When they called me into the back and started poking and prodding on my abdomen, it got worse. It steadily increased until I wasn't sure if I could hold still and be quiet any longer. I've seen those ER shows on TV where the person in pain is sort of thrashing around, crying and begging ... that was almost me ... SERIOUSLY. I was that close and then my blessed nurse injected pain meds into my IV. It didn't knock me out or make the pain completely go away but it was bearable.

Honestly peeps, I have NEVER had anything hurt this bad besides labor ... NEVER.

Anyway, I was admitted and they kept an eye on me til late afternoon Sunday, when they released me to go home. I saw a urologist and because I do not have any infection (no fever), I'm having no nausea and the pain has never reached that intensity again they want me to wait ... wait and see if it will pass. O_o

I was out all last week because I don't do well with strong pain meds and mine were fairly strong. There is no way I could concentrate on work, not even to do anything from home. Friday, I started halving the meds and was able to do some work. I was planning on going in this morning, but all last night I alternated between freezing cold and sweating. No fever though, how strange. It finally eased up and I was able to rest.

So now I'm aiming for tomorrow. I hope to be at work at least for most of the day. I have followup visits and a cardiology visit this week. I hate it when I'm feeling pretty good, weather is beautiful, life is good ... and then WHAM upside the head!

I hope and pray that you are all doing well and I hope that I will be soon.

Update

2011-10-04T10:32:00.000-05:00

I don't have much time today as I am swamped at work, but wanted to post a couple of updates.

1. First of all we finally received all the paperwork on the 5 hour neurological testing that Dad had taken almost a month ago. My Aunt L is coming tomorrow to take Dad into his regular doctor. The visit is to go over the results and to start the referral process with his insurance company. The referral will be to go see a geriatric neurologist to verify and treat the Parkinson's. I hope that the doctor will be able to help some with the symptoms.

2. Myrtle (my truck) only needed new battery cables and a new battery. Not too awfully much money and WoooHooo, she's back on the road. However my car now needs to have the plugs and cables changed out on it. :(

3. I'm feeling pretty good this week and the weather is wonderful. This past weekend was beautiful, it makes me wish I had a large table outside on the porch to sit and eat supper.

I hope you are all have a good week.
Blessings.

On The List

2011-09-30T11:14:00.000-05:00

Yesterday is fairly high on my list of worst day ever.

I think everything I have flared up in about a 6 hour window of time. I awoke in the wee hours of the morning Thursday hurting no matter how a lay in the bed. A hour or so later the gastric paresis crap set in and then a short time later this sparked the IBS.

I spent half of the day laying in the bed crying and the other half knocked out as a side affect of the combined meds. J has never seen it this bad and really wanted me to go to the ER. I've been here before and know I can just ride it out.

Our ER's around here are so busy that it's hours and hours before you are seen. I'd much rather be miserable, crying and in pain laying in my own bed, then in a hard plastic chair in a cold ass waiting room. There's really not that much the doctors could do that I don't have meds for myself ... so I stayed home.

J? He went outside to fiddle around with different projects because he can't stand to see me cry. He asked me to text him or send my son out to get him if I changed my mind about going in. Sweet Man, I love you.

Every time I was awake I was worrying about my job. I'm in accounting and the end of the month is massive deadlines for us. My wonderful boss got me a short reprieve for my 5 p.m. deadline that evening, until noon today.

Yes I'm at work today.

Tired, foggy brained, still in some pain ... but here.

I really hope I feel much better this weekend. The weekend here is supposed to be absolutely beautiful and I would like to be able to enjoy it as much as possible.

I hope you all have a wonderfully blessed weekend!

I Confess

2011-09-27T13:03:00.000-05:00

O_O Uh Huh, whatever it is you think I'm confessing .... STOP.

I confess that I love my old truck ... not only do I love her ... yes I said her ... but I've also named her.

Please meet Myrtle ...

She's small and hard working ... and dirty right here. Dang she needed a bath, but this was a picture for my new insurance company.

My truck and I have been through a lot together. She has almost 300,000 miles o_O This weekend she broke down and J is trying to figure out what's wrong with her. I hope it's something relatively easy and inexpensive to fix. I know the old girl probably doesn't have many ~~months~~ years left in her, but I plan on keeping her til the very end.

I don't drive her much anymore because she is a stick. Most days I'm unable to drive a stick shift any longer. I miss it!

Keeping fingers crossed that she is fixable.

Where did the week go?

2011-09-23T16:21:00.000-05:00

This week has just drug by for me. Most likely because I've been recuperating from going to the family reunion last Saturday. My days this week have consisted of:

Drag my butt out of bed and walk "ouch ... OUCH" to the bathroom.
After taking twice as long as normal to get ready, leave for work.
Realize I haven't taken meds and go back inside house
Go back out to car and head for work
(An hour later), sit in parking garage for 5 minutes wishing I didn't have to get up and go inside.
Go to break room for caffeine fix
Stare bleary eyed at monitors (have two) and try valiantly to complete necessary tasks efficiently.
Go to break room for caffeine fix
Catch myself staring off into space instead of working.
Go to break room for caffeine fix
Look at time for 4,000th time today and realize it's time to go home.
Make it to car and sit thinking of long drive home
Make it home and think about supper that needs to be cooked
Get son to help me with supper
Stand over stove dreaming of my bed
Finish eating and sigh loudly, because I need to put away food and pickup kitchen
Crawl into bed and then remember I haven't taken my meds, get out and get some water
Get back in bed, double check alarm and lay there ... exhausted.

I think I'm going to be doing a whole big bunch of NOTHING this weekend.

Have a great weekend.

Family

2011-09-19T16:37:00.000-05:00

Last week I had prepared myself for attending a family reunion. I rested, didn't over extend myself and made sure I followed my strict diet and meds. Saturday morning I awoke to a beautiful day and woke my Dad up to see if he had changed his mind about going. He had and soon we were on our way. About halfway through the 1-1/2 hour drive, we stopped and picked up my sister.

It was so nice when we got to the park (Huntsville State Park) and the reunion was being held in a beautiful rock/wood building right on the shoreline. The building had it's on restrooms and a very large kitchen, bar and dining area. Also the most important thing ... it was air conditioned. If you know how hot it's been lately in Texas you will understand how important that is.

We had all decided before hand to only stay a couple of hours, eat lunch and then head home. We ended up having such a good time that we stayed a lot longer than was prudent. By the time we left we were all exhausted. I did manage to drive home, but hit the bed once we got there and didn't get up much after that until this morning.

It was a great day and I discovered something about myself. Here/online, at work and even with my close friends I do not have an issue discussing my medical conditions and what they are like. I am very open and frank in our conversations. For some reason it was extremely difficult for me to discuss any of illnesses at the reunion. Some cousins new some of the basics and I guess had passed on some info to others. So people would ask, and I just froze up. I went in the restroom and said to myself, "what are you doing? what are you worried about? This is family, the people who care about you most."

No matter how I tried I was never comfortable Saturday discussing myself and my illnesses. However I enjoyed catching up with everyone, playing with babies and laughing. Even though I over did it, it was a Great Day and worth every bit.

Invisible Illness Week

2011-09-14T16:19:00.003-05:00

30 THINGS ABOUT MY INVISIBLE ILLNESS YOU MAY NOT KNOW

1. The illness I live with is: Sjogren’s Syndrome and I also have: Hypothyroidism, Diabetes, Gastroparesis, High Blood pressure, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Fibromyalgia and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2006
3. But I had symptoms since: I was a teenager
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: all the medications I have to take and the exhaustion.
5. Most people assume: That because I don’t look ill, or I’m smiling, that I’m not sick.
6. The hardest part about mornings are: waking up and standing up from the bed (feet hurt, knees hurt, hips hurt).
7. My favorite medical TV show is: Mystery Diagnosis!
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: My soap/shampoo dispenser. It attaches to the wall and I keep it filled up. Showering is a big ordeal and so was opening the shampoo bottles.
9. The hardest part about nights are: The inability to sleep well due to joint pain and other issues.
10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins. (No comments, please) 17
11. Regarding alternative treatments I: wish that I could afford to try some alternative treatments, such as acupuncture.
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: NEITHER!
13. Regarding working and career: I am still working full-time … barely.
14. People would be surprised to know: How much pain I have sitting at my desk and how much sleep I need.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: Not being able to physically do as much as I used to do (ie. Cleaning, socializing). Coming to terms with the fact that the day is coming when I will not be able to work full-time any longer.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: remain ~~fat~~ fluffy (gastroparesis).
17. The commercials about my illness: don’t exist.
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: crafts, gardening, hanging out with friends. I’m just too tired when I get home from work and the weekend is for minimal chores and resting.
19. It was really hard to have to give up: The ability to take care of everything by myself because I had the energy to do so.
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: LOL, none. I’ve had to give up most of my hobbies and activities.
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: I would start off the morning outside. Perhaps checking on my flowers. Then I would go someplace with some friends for lunch and perhaps to a book store. I would like to invite friends over that evening for a BBQ, good conversation and lots of fun.
22. My illness has taught me: patience and that the important things in life are basic and do not include a spotless, pristine home.
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: How come you go to the doctor so much? Oh that’s not so bad. Have you tried (blank)?
24. I love it when people: Keep me in their prayers. Also when they really care about what is going on with me medically
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: “Be strong and courageous, do not be discouraged, for the Lord will be with you wherever you go.” Josh 9:1
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” ~ Maya Angelou
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: You are not alone.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: How much I cannot do anymore, how little people understand and the fact that they do not want to.
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: Clean my house, tell me it was ok and gave me a hug.
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I have Sjogren’s Syndrome.
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: That I am not alone and that someone out there understands me.

It's a Mess

2011-09-13T13:07:00.001-05:00

About a month ago, my Dad had a 5 hour neurological test with a Neurophsychiatrist. At the follow-up visit she stated that I needed to get a Texas Durable Medical Power of Attorney and a Texas Durable Financial Power of Attorney completed for Dad. She also stated that I should be able to locate the forms online for free ...

Yeah. Right.

I have found lots of sites with lots of information, but to get the form cost $ ... that I don't have. I'm going to keep looking, but it looks like I may have to call a local attorney that we know to see how much he would charge. At least that way I would know that it is completed correctly.

I detest wading in the legal stuff. It is a maze of madness.

I Believe

2011-09-12T13:25:00.001-05:00

I'm not trying to get into any type of discussion with people of other faiths, or even with fellow Christians; but I have always loved this poem. We get so engrossed in the trappings of our faith, our job, our everyday lives that sometimes we forget.

"When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say. "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow."
— Maya Angelou

Fires and Floods

2011-09-08T11:46:00.000-05:00

Texas along with other states have endured an extremely dry and HOT spring and summer this year. We've had fires here and there, but now we have major fires.

Please add Texans to your prayers. Thousands have lost their homes and some have lost their lives. I have friends who have had to evacuate. Some of them already know that they have lost their homes.

I wish there was some magical way to use all the flood waters to put out all these fires and to bring life back to my State.

Fast and Furious

2011-09-07T16:56:00.000-05:00

I don't know about anyone else, but my holiday weekend went by way to fast. I had taken off Tuesday in order to go to a couple of doctor appointments, but other than that had no plans. I just wanted a slow relaxing weekend, and I guess it started out that way.

My rheumatologist had given me a new anti-inflammatory to try and told me to wait til the weekend. I don't have a good history with anti-inflammatory medications, so I agreed that was a good idea. I took the first dose Friday night and I think because it worked and I was sooo exhausted that I slept til 3 pm Saturday.

Bye Saturday ... Buh Bye Bye

Sunday, I ran a couple of errands and did some housework. Monday was beautiful and it was cool enough that I was able to get outside a bit. So my son and I washed down the porch chairs and painted them. Then we scrubbed down a little round table and painted it too. It took longer than I thought, but we had a good time just talking.

My son did most of the work, I promise.

Later I did the grocery shopping and Buh Bye Bye Monday.

Tuesday I ended up having to cancel my appointments and taking Dad to a kidney doctor. Of course we had to be worked in and waited 5 hours ...

well, it felt like 5 hours ...

it did ... OK, ok it was only about an hour and a half ...

that felt like 5 hours.

He has to be scheduled to have a sonogram done of his kidneys and bladder, but he's ok. Thank God.

As I walked out my front door this morning and took in the beautiful day, I thought, Why didn't I take this whole week off? The weather this week is supposed to be beautiful. High's in the low 90's. After more than a month of 100+ heat it feels a bit chilly in the early hours of the morning. MMmmmmm, Love IT!

2011-09-02T11:12:00.000-05:00

So, I went to see Cowboys and Aliens last night at our small local movie theatre. Although many of you have already seen this movie, it had been forever since I had been to the movies and I needed to get out. Normally I make plans to go and then have to cancel. This time I was determined to go.

Anyway, back to the movie.

It was decent, but then again I like science fiction movies and I love me some cowboys. ~~My cowboy~~ Jack came with me, even though he is not particulary fond of science fiction. I kept glancing over at him to judge his reaction. I caught him laughing a few times, though he won't admit it now. :D

The movie was slightly disjointed (right word?) at the beginning. The characters would feed you bits of information or you would be shown things in bits and pieces. If you catch them, then the movies starts making much more sense about a third of the way in.

There were some funny bits, some of them I don't believe were intentionally humorous. All in all the movie was interesting and funny. I had a nice time out with my honey, even though I was hurting by the time we left.

I hope you all have a fantastic holiday weekend. At my house we will be taking it easy and enjoying the time off.

Stand Back Up

2011-08-31T12:57:00.001-05:00

I was way late for work today.

Way ....

I didn't get here til noon.

I hate when I'm hurting and sooo exhausted I just can't get up. Well I did get up eventually. I even took a shower. It took me two hours to get ready. Two friggin hours ... TWO. I kept having to sit down and rest.

I'm feeling a bit pushed down

Pushed around

And all around weary

On my hour long trek to work, I popped in my Sugarland CD. It helped. It helped a lot when this song came on:

"Stand Back Up"

Go ahead and take your best shot,

Let'er rip, give it all you've got,

I'm laid out on the floor, but I've been here before,

I may stumble, yeah I might fall,

Only human aren't we all?

I might lose my way, but hear me when I say,

I will stand back up,

You'll know just the moment when I've had enough,

Sometimes I'm afraid, and I don't feel that tough,

But I'll stand back up,

I've been beaten up and bruised,

I've been kicked right off my shoes,

Been down on my knees more times than you'd believe,

When the darkness tries to get me,

There's a light that just won't let me.

It might take my pride, and my tears may fill my eyes,

But I'll stand back up,

I've weathered all these storms,

But I just turn them into wind, so I can fly,

What don't kill you makes you stronger,

When I take my last breath,

That's when I'll just give up,

So, go ahead and take your best shot,

Let'er rip, give it all you've got,

You might win this round but you can't keep me down,

'Cause I'll stand back up,

And you'll know just the moment when I've had enough,

Sometimes I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough,

But I'll stand back up.

Music always bolsters my mood. I think perhaps I need to make a Mix CD of songs that help my Morale on days I'm low. I'll call it "Fighting The Demon."

Parkinson's

2011-08-29T10:47:00.001-05:00

Dad and I saw the specialist last Thursday and she went over all of his test results with us. She believes that Dad has Parkinson's and said that Dad needs to go see a regular Neurologist. She said that in some rare cases that Parkinson's can include hallucinations/dementia. I've spent the last few days pouring over medical websites and have found mention of this in only a few places. Parkinson's Disease Foundation says this, "cognitive issues, such as memory difficulties, slowed thinking, confusion and in some cases, dementia".

The specialist is sending her report to Dad's PCP and a copy to us. As soon as his PCP gets the copy, we will see if we have to go in and see them first, or if they will go ahead and start working on the referral to the neurologist. Neither Dad of I are looking forward to all the doctor visits and test, but at least we have a starting point now.

The absolutely hardest part of the entire meeting, was the doctor explaining to Dad that he is no longer considered competent to make his own financial and medical decisions. Whew that was very emotional for both of us. My Dad is so independent and is struggling to hang on to as much of it as possible.

So now there are some legal issues to take care of. Actually Dad seems more at ease with that aspect of things. What is getting his goat is that I have to watch him take his meds now. He absolutely hates that. He kept taking it before I got in there. I think we may have it worked out now, at least I hope so.

Well I have lots of catchup work to get done today, so I had better stop here. We appreciate your well wishes, blessings and prayers.

Stressin'

2011-08-23T17:43:00.000-05:00

I'm stressing today getting everything done so that I can be off Wednesday and Thursday. I have doctor appointments tomorrow. Then Dad and I will be going back to the Neurologist for the results of his five hour neurolgical testing two weeks ago.

I didn't get EVERYthing done, but my boss said go so I'm going. Dillon has been helping out around the house more and Jack is my rock.

He talks me up when I'm down and never lets me feel guilty for having to rest or even go to bed. He doesn't complain about my well lived in home. He knows that I do what I can and Pffffft the rest.

Ever since I heard the song "You Make It Look So Easy" by Eric Church, I cannot get it out of my head. Parts of the song are me, parts are Jack and most of it is both of us.

Due to all the stress, "brain fog" set in today and I just couldn't seem to keep it together. I took a break and listened to this song and the phrase that stuck in my head?

"...And when I'm circlin' the drain, You keep my crazy sane, And quiet all the voices in my head."

My apologies if this post doesn't make much sense and/or jumps around, but hey BRAINFOG, remember?

Thank you Lord for my Loved Ones, I don't know where I'd be without them.

Financial Pill

2011-08-19T10:34:00.001-05:00

I spend so much on medication, it's insane.

Hmmm, I wonder who the manufacturers of Ibuprofen are,

And can I buy stock? O_o

Pain Full

2011-08-16T13:14:00.003-05:00

Today I hurt. It's not one of my worst days, because I'm sitting here at work ... trying to work with a body that aches all over and a brain functioning on super slow mode. I'm taking my pain meds, but not as much as I would if I was home, because ... well ... I'm at work.

Yes. I am hurting. But it's not so bad that I'm at home in the bed with tears streaming down my face.

I read 24 At Heart every week day, it's one of the blogs I've found that help me through the day. Today, Suzanne discusses pain, hiding and denial. It hits home, because the last few months I've been forced to realize how much I hide my pain from others. My family, my friends, my co-workers.

But no one wants to hear how I hurt etc every day ... how depressing. I agree it is depressing and that's why I try not to dwell on it; but how are they going to really know me, if they don't have a glimpse now and then?

Yes I deal with pain every day ... every single day, but I refuse to let it totally dictate my life. I have to make concessions, but I fight every battle, longing for that one win. I think Suzanne hit the nail on the head today when she posted, "Pain is an awful, ugly, living, demon, creature - that's the truth of it. It will strangle the life out of you if you don't fight against it with everything you've got."

I wonder sometimes how it's possible to hurt as much as I hurt and still be able to live my life and be happy. Those are my dark times, the times full of self pity and doubt. Most of the time though, I realize how much I am loved and how lucky I am.

So for now I'm going to focus on today ... just today. Tomorrow will be here soon enough ... another day, another fight with the Demon.

Bringing "The Fight" 24/7

Dreams and Imagination

2011-08-10T15:58:00.000-05:00

Most people don't know that I moved in with my Dad when my mother died. This has been over ten years ago and it's seems like yesterday. My dad has been on disability since '95, he has asbestosis. Over the years his lungs have slowly deteriorated and he is now on oxygen 24/7. We always expected his lung disease to be the medical issue that would be the most problematic. We were wrong.

Dad has had heart related issues since 2004. That year they discovered that his right carotid artery was completely blocked and began keeping a close eye on the left one. In 2005, he had a triple bypass, an aortic aneurysm bypass graft and surgical hernia repair. I believe it was late 2006 he had an impacted bowel that they ended up doing surgery to remove. Somewhere in the next couple of years the surgical hernia that was repaired had to be repaired, again. Otherwise, he did pretty good for a while there, then in 2008 he had a couple of small strokes.

Due to the strokes, Dad lost his peripheral vision, was having memory problems and began having vision and tactile hallucinations. This was scary, but they were small compared to what was to come. Late 2010, the left carotid artery began closing up and he had surgery to remove the blockage. During presurgery testing it was discovered that both his right and left femoral arteries were 95% blocked. So he had the left leg done and then the right. All three of these surgeries were within a 120 day period.

The doctors are always slightly surprised when they find things wrong with Dad. He doesn't have the usual symptoms, no pain, no complaints. They always tell us that with his lung issues that surgery is difficult; but, then they are amazed at how well he does during and after surgery. My Dad is a fighter.

I'm writing all this down, because my Dad's memory is getting worse. He is having waking dreams or hallucinations or whatever you want to call them. We have found him wandering around the yard, at night, in his PJ's with a flashlight, looking for his National Guard unit so he can fall in for roll call. I've had to help him kill the snakes that were trapped in his ceiling fan, that only he could see. We saw his doctor and now we are seeking the assistance of specialists.

The doctors say that they do not see any issues with his medication, that it is not dementia or Alzheimer's. We spent five hours at the specialist's office yesterday for neurological testing. I am trying to be patient, and sooth Dad's impatience, while they figure out what's wrong. I'm worried and I'm scared, but more importantly so is he.

2011-08-05T12:26:00.000-05:00

Today started off great, but all of us spoonies know how quickly that can change. One bite of lunch and one of my molars started throbbing. Now the whole right side of my face is aching and back up into my ear. Dental pain is all new to me, as I didn't even have my first cavity til I was 30. But now, due to the Sjogren's, I'm beginning to have serious problems with my teeth.

I don't know how people who make less than me or have crappy insurance do it. I have a decent job with decent benefits, but even I'm going to have to wait to go see the dentist because I have so many regular medical bills piling up. It's difficult when you have to make those choices in your budget because you require additional money to pay for the doctors and medications due to all your illnesses.

I know that this is hard for me and I just can't even imagine how difficult it is for the ones who are on disability or retired. That is one reason I'm apprehensive about eventually going on disability, although that is a possibility in my future. With all the changes in healthcare and the way the economy looks right now, it's a scary place to be.

I think perhaps I'm going to try and eat some soup.

Today

2011-08-02T11:52:00.000-05:00

I'm trying to decide if I should list all the diseases I have, but honestly I hate putting them in print. It brings me down and I don't need anything additional to help with that. So I'm not going to list anything in this post, but if you need to know just look at my Informational Links to the right of the page.

Today has been strange. I'm finding it extra difficult to concentrate and am in a introspective mood. I'm hurting, but no more than normal, it's not a bad pain day. It doesn't help matters that my IBS has kicked in and I'm having a digestively challenging day. O_O

I've been reading blogs by others who suffer from an invisible disease. It's disheartening that so many suffer from the same or similar issues as myself. At the same time, it is soothing in some way to know that I'm not crazy ... that I'm not alone.

Spoon Theory

2011-07-28T14:09:00.002-05:00

Today, I read the Spoon Theory by Christine Miserandino. It's amazing how something simple can have such a profound affect on your life. As I read this, I felt that I had found someone who "gets me." What I had yet to find out is that I had found many who "get me."

If you get the chance and have time, click the link and read the story. So many people who are healthy do not understand what a person with a chronic illness goes through on a daily basis. We are excellent at hiding our illness, therefore it is invisible to so many.

Hi, my name is Karen and I'm a Spoonie.

Borders Going Out of Business

2011-07-27T15:08:00.001-05:00

I went to Borders today with two co-workers during our lunch. They have big signs up all over the outside of the store "up to 40% off" ... yeah, right. Most everything is 10% off, a few things are 20-30% off and I did not see one thing that was 40% off. What a disappointment.

I did find a couple of things for Christmas/Birthday gifts at reasonable prices. Of course I picked up two books for myself... hehehehe

Squeeeee!

2007-09-18T17:14:00.000-05:00

I just finished reading "His Majesty's Dragon" by Nomi Novik this weekend and fell in love. I've never been a big fan of History in general and that subject was my most difficult in school. However Ms. Novik has brought the Napoleonic wars to life for me. I'm not going to go on and on about how much I enjoyed this book, just check it out. While you are at it, check out her interview in SciFi Magazine. It seems she's been "picked up" by Hollywood. Man I would love to see a movie of her story.

Enjoy.

Gravity

2007-06-22T10:16:00.000-05:00

"Gravity is working against me
And Gravity ... wants to bring me down.

Oh I'll never know ... what makes this [wo]man
With all the love that [her] heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away.

Oh Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down

Oh twice as much, ain't twice as good
And can't sustain like one half could
It's wanting more ...
Gonna send me to my knees

Oh gravity, stay the HELL away from me
And gravity has taken better [wo]men than me
(now how can that be?)

Just keep me where the light is

Just keep me where the light is.

~John Mayer

My Life Update

2007-05-17T14:17:00.000-05:00

Well it's been another long period with no postings. No reason other than I've just been reading lots of other blogs and not concentrating on my own. Because of the long time span between posts, I thought I just talk about how the fam's doing.

First there's my dad, the 69 yr old grump of the family that we lovingly call "The Grouch." He is doing pretty good. No hospital visits for over 6 months. Hooraayy! He's on his oxygen more and more lately and it saddens me to see him being able to do less and less. This bothers him, because he's always been "the man" of the house and feels useless now sometimes. I try to ask him to do some little something every day or so for me. Then I make sure and tell him thank you for helping me so much ... it helps him to feel better.

Then there is my son, who hit the brick wall of puberty this year in a head on collision. Attitude {rolls eyes} good Lord where do they get these attitudes! This year so far has included co-ed outings and one small party at our house. Watching the awkwardness of pubescent teenagers was horribly painful and funny at the same time. He's growing out of his clothes as soon as we get them home from the store and is now taller than me ... ack! To top everything off, he has probably failed two of his classes this year ... the summer and next school year is just going to be so much fun. You can tell this is sarcasm, right?

As for me, I'm doing ok. January saw me in the hospital for a week and I've been diagnosed with gastric paresis. What is that? Well it's where the large muscle of your stomach quits working. So needless to say I'm still having many medical issues. However I'm trying to stay upbeat and focused. The main issue right now is the fatigue, God I'm tired all the time. I just don't think many people, unless they are in the same boat, can truly understand what it means to feel exhausted every waking moment of every day. To never feel rested and complete. There may be a light at the end of the tunnel though. In my online Sjogren's group someone mentioned some meds they are taking to battle fatigue. I'm definetly going to by asking my rheumatologist about them at my next appt. Wish me luck!

The rest of my family is doing pretty well. I have a sister, BIL and three neices who are all doing well. My best friend is doing ok and has a new man in her life ... you go girl! Everyone seems to be doing ok, time to take a few deep breaths before the next wave.

DePreshUn

2006-10-20T15:14:00.000-05:00

It's been a very long time since I last posted. No excuses, I've just not made the time to do so. However I read something today, that had me holding my breath and thinking/knowing that someone else does know exactly how I feel. The following is a portion of the blog posting today at Dad Gone Mad ....

"... I remember me. I remember the me I was before this bullshit. I remember being alert and alive and accountable. I remember when I could get through a day without a pill, or the need to put my head down on the desk, or the sight of the collateral damage wrought by something I can't seem to control. All I want is to recapture that old me. But I feel as though I'm running in sand."

I take a deep breath and reread it again ... my chest tightens and my head begins to pound. I reach in my drawer, take my pills, lean over my desk placing my head in my hands and I pray ... just pray that things will get better so I can breathe.

Sleepy!!!!!!

2006-03-27T13:08:00.000-06:00

It's Monday ... again and I feel like crap ... again. How can I feel like I spent the weekend partying my ass off and have done almost nothing? I just don't get it. I used to could stay up all weekend and bounce my way into work on Mondays ... now I feel like a slug. Ok, yeah I set myself up with that comment, but hey reality stinks.

What did I do this weekend? Housework, more housework .... drove out past B.F.E. to pick up kittens. Yes, I said kittens ... beautiful Bengal kittens ... stop it, it's not funny ... well maybe it is a li'l bit. Finally got home late that evening, only to have my sweet natured 6 mo. old baby go ballistic on the new babies .... grrrrrrr. So the babies spent the night in my room and we all got a good nights rest .... riiiiiiiight.

Sunday was Dillon's last ice skating lesson .... of the eight (Sundays) in a row. Whew! I'm glad that's over, now that he can ice skate better, I have ice hockey clinics to look forward to. I love hockey ... I not only love the mental aspect of the game; but the physical too. No matter how much I enjoy some of the less physical players, I gravitate toward the more physically aggressive players ... that's just me. However, watching my son get checked is not good for my blood pressure ... LOL! Do you ever get used to it? I guess I'll find out.

So the day is close to being over and I'm daydreaming of my bed ... my bed and SLEEP that is.

Crappy, shit, ass, DAMN ...

2006-02-15T09:03:00.000-06:00

You know how some days you wake up know that the day is just gonna be crappy. I know, I know positive attitude and all that … but no matter how much smiling, laughter and humor is involved in the day … the day is still CRAPPY! … that’s where I’m at today.

First a bit of background … I have issues with inflamed joints … NO not arthritis, or so the specialists say, because that doesn’t show up in my blood work. It was believed last year that I may have Sjorgren’s syndrome, however it didn’t present in the blood work … even though I match 95% of the signs/symptoms. So what? I’m just crazy? Well yes actually, but not like that …

That said, every time I rolled over on my left side last night, I woke up in pain … my hip. I woke up this morning, slid out of bed and listened as the bones in my feet cracked and popped all the way to Dillon’s room. … yes they hurt damnit! This along with some other medical whiney complaints mean that I feel like SHIT!

Next is the contemplative, dark funk I find myself in. I dreamed of my Mom last night, my Mom and financial problems. Being a single mother, NO no child support, I’m pretty much broke all the time. Yes I have a decent job, we don’t go hungry and YES I know there are many people out there in far worse shape than I … still doesn’t stop me from brooding and worrying … ya know?!

So I’m physically hurting and depressed over money issues … then there is my Mom. You know I miss my Mom every day … the times that I think of calling and telling her something astound me … even if it has been five years. She is constantly in my thoughts, whether she glides through on quiet cat paws, with an attitude and whipping tail, or just the tickle of whiskers … she is there … all the time. Rarely however do I dream of her, last night she was there every time I closed my eyes.

I wasn’t having a nightmare or some strange psychedelic dream … just glimpses into the past and scenes out of one of our normal days … mom and I getting ready for work/school … Mom cooking breakfast on a Saturday morning … Mom playing on the deck with baby Dillon. So now I can add retrospective and sad to that list of hurting and depressed.
So no matter how much I smile or laugh today … these things will be on my mind … settled snugly there in the back … ever present. I will take medicine but will have some pain through the day, just a hint, just enough to be aggravating. I think about all I just wrote and think, “Damn girl get yourself together and quit being such a whiny ass!” {sigh} What if I just wanna wallow in my funk … just for the day … just for a little while …

Thumpity, thump ... thump ....

2005-12-13T12:38:00.000-06:00

Snap, Crackle, Pop

2005-12-13T12:00:00.000-06:00

I don't know what's wrong with me ... it's almost Christmas and normally I feel very calm, happy and introspective. Mixed into that are the ever present little periods of sadness and wistfullness, as thoughts of loved ones who are no longer here come to me at odd moments. The memories are bittersweet, but inevitably turn to happier memories.

This Christmas, I just don't know what's wrong ... my Christmas spirit is gone ... hell who am I fooling, it just never came this year! It's seems with all that's been going on, that the protective, vengeful, possibly physical side of me is being channeled this year. WATCH OUT WORLD I have access to a whip and I ain't afraid to crack it!

I think maybe I need some calm, me time .... Hmmm, maybe some kick ass time with a boxing body bag and THEN the meditating, relaxing experience ... maybe it'll work this time?!?

I plead insanity

2005-12-08T16:09:00.000-06:00

Screaming? What screaming ... I don't hear no screaming.

I do not believe that I've blogged anything about my Dad's medical problems this year ... but I'm just too lazy to go back and check. So bear with me as I hit the highlights. Bear? Yes bear, I'm feeling very growly now-a-days.

May, Dad passed out at a local diner and an ambulance was called. He refused to go and said I would come get him and take him to the hospital/doctor. Of course I was in the bed running a fever and very ill. Anyway I took him to the doctor and he blacked out in the doctor's office. The doctor immediately admitted him to the local hospital.

While running tests the local hospital found a very large aortic aneurysm that was in both body cavities. The local hospital was not equipment to handle this surgery (DUH!) and transferred him downtown Houston to Methodist Hospital. While there and running even more tests, heart blockages were found. The beginning of the surgeryfest has commenced.

Early June he had a triple bypass and did extremely well. He was sent home to recuperate and came back the end of June for the surgery to repair the aortic aneurysm. The aneurysm had grown so large that the metal spring looking thing (hey that's what it looked like!) could not be used for repair and they had to do an aortic bypass. Two weeks later he was back in the hospital with popped stitches (from coughing) and low blood pressure.

After being released and home for a couple of weeks, he noticed a weirdly thin feeling soft spot near his abdominal incision, about the size of a quarter. We kept an eye on it and when it began to distend, we called and made an appt with his regular doctor. Doctor said it was a hernia, referred him to local specialist/surgeon, who said that due to all the surgeries and possible complications we should go back to Methodist. Had regular doctor complete referral to surgeon affiliated with Methodist. Went to see this doctor and he asked us to go see the cardiologist who was involved in Dad's previous surgeries to obtain a release for this surgery ... WHEW you tired yet?

We called Dad's regular doctor back and asked them to complete a referral to the cardiologist, as Dad had never actually been to his office before. The referral was returned, but to some doctor we had never heard of but who was closer to our home. WHAT? Resent request with backup information .... was DENIED. This went on and on, with many requests, denials and phone calls to the insurance company. At one point I was told that there was no higher level I could take this or anyone to speak to ... so I wrote them an email and cc'd ALL of my dad's doctors. I explained, complained and threatened them with the MEDIA. Within 24 hours I received a phone call requesting additional information and within four days it was approved.

Why was this continually denied? The insurance company said that the cardiologist my dad wanted to see was not in his geographical insurance POD ... WTF! The cardiologist is two floors down in the same building as the surgeon (hernia) with whom they had NO issues with approving that referral! "Here's your sign" All in all it took us two months from having the hernia diagnosed to actually having the surgery.

****WARNING - if you have a sensitive stomach, skip this next part****

This past Monday, my dad had his surgery ... on the hernia that had grown from the size of a silver dollar to the size of a soccer ball ... he looked like some clip from the movie Alien ... you know where the alien baby is in the human's stomach trying to claw it's way out!? Because the hernia had grown so large (sternum to pelvis) his intestines had spilled into the opening and adhered to the tissue on the other side, which had to be slowly and carefully separated and put back where they belonged. Ewwwww!

****OK, you weak-stomached ones can continue on from here****

So what should have been a minimally invasive surgery that lasted about 2-3 hours ... was an invasive surgery that lasted almost 6 hours! Not only that but the surgeon said that recovery from this is very painful ... OUCH! I feel like this is the insurance company's fault ... their stubborn refusals lasting for almost two months gave this hernia time to grow and wreak havoc on my dad's health. What did their refusals do for them in the end? It damn sure didn't save them any money! Not when what would have been an overnight stay will probably be a 7-10 day stay in the hospital!

My dad, who is almost 70, has as of today been in the hospital for four days. Because his intestines still have not "started back up", he has not released all that gas you get with surgery. The gas is distending his abdomen ... causing even more pain. Because he's not passing gas, he can't have any food ... YES four days with NO food, nothing but limited amounts of water and ice chips! More pain and no food ... grrrrrr!

There are extremely few things that can/could move me to want to do physical violence to someone ... but messing with my loved ones is one of them. I wanna hurt something, tear something up ... participate in a little destruction!

Sad, frustrated, tired, stressed, ANGRY

I Wanna make a snowman!!!!

2005-12-06T16:11:00.000-06:00

I haven't posted anything in a bit, not because I haven't had anything to post, I just couldn't seem to make myself open up blogger and do it! I been a procrastinating lazy slug-a-bug couch potato.

There's been alot going on this year ... I would like to say like a rollercoaster; but while I remember all the stomach dropping, breath taking lows, I just don't remember many make you light-headed highs ... would be a damn sucky rollercoaster.

Things I wanna post about and plan to do soon:

1. My Dad - an update

2. Dillon's 14th Birthday

3. My Mom

4. Having a December Bday

Anyway, I received a buttload of Calvin and Hobbs comics from a friend {waves hi to Rebekah} and I've decided to share one with you every weekday or so from now til Christmas. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have/do.

HNT: In a Halloweenie frame of mind

2005-11-03T13:38:00.000-06:00

HNT

OK I was trying to think of what I could post for HNT because you know alot of participants post some really cool pics ... so there I am leaning over my keyboard, checking out the pieces of flotsam that have fallen down between the keys ... when I think Oh hell I'll just post that picture mistake my son made of my mouth. Then I start thinking of all the trouble my mouth gets me into sometimes ... Wait! Maybe I should save that pic for Taboo Tuesday ... nah, might as well use it today. ::sigh::

I pulled up the pic and played around with it and decided I liked the negative affect ... uh effect ... affect ... uhm anyway I liked this one best. Pretty scary HUH?

Check out HNT at Osbasso

2005-10-31T15:45:00.000-06:00

DISHY GUY MONDAY!

Katie Mac always has some of the best looking guys for her DGM, but after reading a blog on finger/lip biting and stalking ... I decided to post a pic of a famous person that I am would be oh so tempted to stalk ... Trace Adkins! From his tall rugged good looks to his deep sexy voice ... WoooooEeeeeee!

Uh hum, of course you all know that I would never stalk anyone ... right? I mean you know I bought those high powered night vision binoculars for uhmmm, hockey, right?! I mean doesn't everyone carry a bag in their truck with binoculars and a 10x zoom digital camera ... I mean gawsh, you never know when you might need those.

Happy Halloween!

2005-10-25T09:40:00.000-05:00

BFI ROCKS!!!!!

To say that I was excited about going to see Billy Idol is an understatement ... I had a slight buzzing high all day in anticipation. Of course being ME I was running a bit late as I zoomed down the block to pickup my good friend Ang.

I had made prior arrangements to use a friend's (person who bought the tickets) camera phone ... but when we left she was not home. She had left to run some errands expecting to be back in plenty of time and it didn't happen.

When we arrived at Verizon Theatre there weren't very many people there; but as it got closer and closer to show time they began showing up. The turnout still wasn't quite what I expected, but HEY the Astros were playing in the World Series ... to some there may have been a choice to make as to what to do with their Saturday night, WRONG choice peoples. You missed BFI to watch the Astros lose a WS game!?!

Billy and the band hit the stage and time fled as he rocked his way through 2.5 hours. It was a fantastic show! He sang songs from GenX, from the 80's, his new stuff (which was quite good), a couple of covers, and lyrics put to existing music about the Katrina victims. The song about the Katrina victims appeared to have been recently completed, as he sang the lyrics straight off of a handwritten piece of paper.

So I was a bit bummed about not having the camera phone ... but when we got back to the truck later that night I realized that we have .... AUDIO BLOGGER on here! Not only do I have the AB number saved to my cell phone, but I had the damn phone in my pocket ... grrrrr! I was sooo mad at myself ... geeez what an idiot ... hmmm, guess I'm still a bit peeved at myself.

Anyway, the music was rockin' HOT ... but one of the nicest surpises was when this 50 year old rocker peeled off his sweaty tee to expose Oh so nicely defined abs, chest and arms. Damn! And he's 50?

The music was better than ever ... I could have stood one my feet for another 2.5 hours ... Billy sounded great and OoooWeee that man works out! I wouldn't have missed it and I'm so thankful that my friend did this for me.

Welcome to the Pink Poodle Parlor ...

2005-10-20T14:40:00.000-05:00

During our trip to see Thomas the Train, we were able to enjoy a puppet show given by Mr. Puppet himself. During the show, my mind turned to thoughts of one of my fave Aunts and her predilection for all things POODLE. So just for my Aunt L *waves hello* here are pics of the lovely dancing poodle puppets!

Going to the Chapel...

2005-10-18T14:52:00.000-05:00

I know this is supposed to be Taboo Tuesday, but I just can't think of anything and anyway something happened today that was ....

Unfuckingbelievable ... YES ... YES.... YES! My best friend just bought me two tickets to see ....

BILLY IDOL!!!!!!!

I've been whining about not getting to go to the show for weeks now. I've not seen Billy since I was 15 ... no I'm not telling you how long ago that was ... and truly wanted to see him perform again. However, being that my cash flow would not allow me to purchase said tickets, I had resigned myself to the fact that I would not be listening to Billy Idol belt out White Wedding LIVE.

My friend and I work together, and for different reasons, have both had a pretty suck-a day. So, when she leaned into my cube and laid an envelope on my keyboard I was like, "Oh please tell me this is something good, because if it isn't I'm so not opening it!" She smiled and said something like "open it and see." I gingerly opened the envelope to find a printout of a ticket order for Billy Idol.

Peoples of the Internet ... I became teary-eyed ... I had to grab a tissue! My friend, who had her home partially destroyed in hurricane Rita ... who has no stove ... who is still sleeping in her living room ... bought ME tickets to see Billy Idol! Do I have the bestest friend in the world or what!

Grease and sooty black smoke

2005-10-12T16:11:00.000-05:00

We are soooo out of here ... Austin here we come! YES, I'm going to see Thomas the Train and you can't stop me!

click the sound bite below for a taste of that ole lonesome sound.

2005-10-12T15:59:00.000-05:00

Rock the boat .. uh board ... baby.

2005-10-12T12:58:00.000-05:00

White Trash Survival Kit

(may substitute the word "Redneck" for "White Trash" where applicable)

Mustard .............................................................. check

Cheetos ............................................................... check

Toilet Paper ......................................................... check

Bud Lite .............................................................. check

Keystone Ice ....................................................... check

Budweiser ........................................................... check

Red Dog .............................................................. check

Misc. bottles of other alcohol ................................. check

Piece of plywood to float your chick and booze on ... check

2005-10-11T10:09:00.000-05:00

Taboo Tuesday
by Hatleyman

Not exactly a taboo; but Damn!

Puck It!

2005-10-07T13:43:00.000-05:00

HOCKEY TIME!!!!!!!

Tonight is the season opener for the Aeros and I feel like it has been close to forever since I've seen a live game. I've been walking around all day at work with a stupid smile on my face. I mus say thank you to my cube-mates who have not complained once about me spontaneously bursting out in song ... off key.

This year has not been a great one for me and mine and this summer has been spectacularly crappy. Two major surgeries for my dad and one more to go. ::sigh:: Illness, money issues and just all around stress ... has made a mess of this year. Other than the upcoming Holiday season, the only other thing I've been looking forward to is the beginning of hockey season and by George ... today is the day!

To all the other hockey (Aeros) fans ... see ya at the game!

Karen Needs ....

2005-10-06T11:54:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Hatleyman who got this idea from some blog chicas! As Chris stated on his blog ... go to Google and search "your name" needs, then post the top five. I thought it would be fun and interesting ... little did I know.

1. Karen needs a lobotomy. (again?)

2. Karen needs a new job. (actually I like my job)

3. Karen needs money to buy the roller skate she so desperately wants. (sigh, get the first aid kit out)

4. Karen needs a Man. (Duh!)

5. Karen needs Dr. Pelvic's knowledge. (Do what?)

This was interesting, fun and somehow strangely appropriate.

2005-09-12T09:14:00.000-05:00

Friday I mentioned that I do indeed enjoy Football season ... GO TEXANS! ... and mentioned a particular favorite, Jason Babin. Since today is "Dishy Guy Monday" on one of my favorite author's blog, I thought I would join the fray and post my Dishy FOOTBALL guy this Monday.

May I present Jason Babin, currently of the Houston Texans.

Mmmmmm, it just might be the best Monday ever! And just because I couldn't stop myself, a pic of him in action ....

2005-09-09T16:24:00.000-05:00

OK, this was supposed to be a request for FOOTBALL and though I enjoy football (see Jason Babin ... OoooWeeee!), my sport of choice is HOCKEY! So without any further ado my SPF (Stuf Portrait Fridays) from

2. google hunt picture ... I googled all of these pics and then put them together for myself last year .... Does this mean I can legally be classified as a stalker?!?

Backup picture: My son with our goalie (Josh Harding), proudly displaying his most prized possession - his signed hockey helmet! ... posted a couple of weeks ago.

Packing my depends!

2005-09-09T16:09:00.000-05:00

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday Sermon:

Four worms were placed int four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alchohol ... DEAD
The second worm in cigarette smoke ... DEAD
The third worm in chocolate syrup ... DEAD
The fourth worm in good clean soil ... ALIVE

So the Minister asked the congregation, "What can you learn from this demonstration?"

A little old woman in the back quickly raised her hand and said, "As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate you won't get worms!"

If this is true, I can honestly say that I will NEVER have worms!

HAPPY FREAKIN' FRIDAY EVERYONE!

Merits of Conformity?

2005-08-29T14:15:00.000-05:00

Shit Happens!

2005-08-17T15:03:00.000-05:00

IBS Day ....

'nuff said!

Countdown: 52 days

2005-08-16T11:01:00.000-05:00

It's only 52 days until the opening game of the AHL season for the Houston Aeros! Woooo Hooooo! (left: #31 Derek Boogaard, SCORE! below: Dillon and goalie Josh Harding) Dillon and I are anxious to see who our players will be this year!

I know, I know yesterday I was pretty bummed; but I feel much better today. What happened you say? I just know you are saying that, right? Well, I'll tell you ....

I have a post somewhere below concerning how to deal with telemarketers. Guess who called me last night? You Got It! We had just gotten home from dinner (Tex/Mex Yummmmm) and the phone started ringing. The caller ID showed that it was one of those telecom companies, that seems to call my house alot.

Laughing maniacly I ran for the phone; because you know this one time they would have hung up after 5 rings instead of 55. Grapping the phone, I paused to catch my breath and then pressed the answer button. Oh internet peoples, it was freakin hilarious. They asked for me and I asked who they were ... then covering the phone with my hands I said off to the side, "Damnit, we have shoe covers use them, you're tracking blood on the carpet!"

I returned to the phone and began to question the telemarketing about the call and how they new the "victim". There was a shocked silence and then in a stuttering voice the man explained how their calls were automated and that he called whatever number popped up next on his screen. I again placed my hand over the phone and spoke off to the side, "OK, bag'er up we're done." Returning to the phone, I said, "Well young man, I suggest you have a conversation with your supervisor and have this number removed from automation." I thanked him for his time, hung up the phone and giggling to myself began putting up laundry.

Did I go to far? Not far enough? I do not believe I caused any permanent harm and probably gave the guy a "story" to regale his friends with for weeks! For myself, I keep grinning like a loon at odd moments and maybe, just maybe they will never call my house again.

Is this a hair in my cereal?

2005-08-15T13:07:00.000-05:00

You know what? Today SUCKS! Yes today, right at this moment my life SUCKS! I normally keep my posts upbeat and clean .... you know boring ... but I decided after perusing many other blogger's posts this past month ... fuckit! I'll let it all out! The only person who knows me that I know for sure stops by here occasionally is my best friend. We've known each other for over 30 years; so I'm guessing she already knows me pretty damn well by now. Too well to be shocked or offended by anything I have to say. As for for the rest of the internet, I don't know you, but "Hey!"

What is the straw on this camel's back or the piss in my Post Toastie's cereal? Money ... yes Money ... the root of all evil. I'm not gonna post any details; but suffice to say I screwed up my finances but good! The past two and half months have consisted of trips back and forth to the hospital and two major surgeries for my dad, who lives with me. He is home, doing better and just when I begin to see the light of day ... WHAM! I screw up BIG TIME!

{deep breath}

I know everything's gonna be ok ... it's just gonna take me longer than I planned. Crap! Ok. OK, I'm gonna quit whining now and get back to work.

Wow! Venting, it helps ... or maybe it's the thought that my friend is gonna take me out for a few drinks ... hmmmm? I'm leaning toward the drinking ... but Hey I could be wrong.

RTF: The Speed of Light

2005-08-12T14:53:00.000-05:00

OK, so what's the speed of Dark?

Don't You Love Telemarketers? NOT!!!!

2005-08-12T12:45:00.000-05:00

The following is an email I received today and wanted to share. A little cut here and a tweak there and I have my own version. Personally I can't wait for the phone to ring when I get home tonight .... waughhahahahaha!

The phone rang as we were sitting down to dinner. I answered it and was greeted with, "Is this William Wagenhoss?"

This didn't sound anything like my name, so I asked, "Who is calling?"

The telemarketer said he was with the Rubberband-Powered Freezer Company or something like that. I asked him if he knew William personally and the reason he was calling this number. Then off to the side, I said, "Get really good pictures of the body and all the blood."

I turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had called a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced the call and he would be receiving a summons to appear at the local courthouse to testify in a murder case. I then questioned him at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been at approximately four hours before he made this call. The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice.

I then proceeded to tell im we had located his position at his work place and the police were entering the building to take him into custody. At this point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.

My wife aske me as I returned to our table what was so funny to cause tears to stream down my face and so help me I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes. My food was cold, but oh so enjoyable!

Random Thought Friday.

2005-08-05T15:47:00.000-05:00

I feel like I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

2005-08-04T09:46:00.000-05:00

Yeah Dude!

Random thoughts and dreams ....

2005-07-14T17:02:00.000-05:00

… Footboards break at inopportune times …

… when it rains, do frogs ever wanna wipe the mud off their feet? …

… being in the hospital sucks …

… winning a few million in the lottery …

… ::yawn:: 99 days til Hockey …

… take effigy of M and stomp on “li’l” head …

… did I put on deodorant this morning? …

… working late sux …

… I need to pee …

... it's finally time to go home.

Liquids

2005-06-15T15:30:00.000-05:00

It's so freakin hot here right now! Last night we were tantalized and teased by the sounds of thunder ... the smell of moisture in the air ... but no rain ... none! It's so humid that when you walk outside it feels as if someone has wrapped you in an invisible caccoon of hot, wet cloth. Forget leaving the house, because if you do you must deal with the body searing heat occupying your vehicle. You drive to town, not ME ... nuh uh! No Way! There's nothing there I need that bad! Of course reality intrudes and there is some plausible reason why you must leave your air conditioned abode and trek to town.

Rain, that's what we need ... rain! A huge thunderstorm to cool things down. I wrote a bit describing a storm to a marine stationed in Iraq. He had mentioned in a letter that he believed that he had forgotten what rain felt like. This is what I wrote:

Standing out on the covered deck….I look up and see the trees dancing in an ever increasing wind. Off in a distance, I hear the long, deep rumble of thunder. The sound and percussion rolls across me and I shiver. Slowly the light seeps away, the darkness creeping in, suddenly I notice the darkness in wonder. The air feels thick, dense and expectant. Without warning large drops of rain begin falling rapidly from the dark sky. Large, shimmering drops that make loud cracking noises on every surface…falling faster and faster. So dense is the rain, that it appears as if I'm surrounded by a silver, hissing, crackling fog. The temperature drops quickly and I shiver slightly. Rain runs in silver rivulets down every surface…meeting and merging into larger streams…seeking the ground. My bones hum with the power of the storm.

Slowly I realize that the rain is easing, as see glimpses of grass and trees in the distance. Then the smell envelopes me. Green and fresh it surrounds me, tickling my nose. Hesitantly as the rain slows to a trickle, the sounds of life begin. A bird chirps in a tree and a squirrel runs down a limb, scolding the storm moving on, off in the distance. I sit back in a chair, closing my eyes and inhaling deeply…listening to the sounds in the stillness after the storm….renewed, refreshed and invigorated.

Geeez! We need something to cool things down and I'm thinking maybe it should be some RAIN!

S.W.A.K.

2005-06-14T01:13:00.000-05:00

OK, OK I admit it! I enjoy sending those "mushy" emotional, "we'll be friends forever" type emails to my friends, because ... Well, that's how I feel about them and I want them to know it! But a few weeks back, my best friend sent me an email that is a bit, uhmmm, different ... lol! I scanned it quicky, as I'm want to do, and then had to stop and reread it slowly.

Upon first read, all I saw was the humor; but then the twisted truth hit me. Take it at face; or dive into the depths ... either way, to my friends and YOU know who YOU are ....

1) When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2) When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3) When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.

4) When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5) When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and tell you to quit whining.

6) When you are confused - I will use little words.

7) When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever it is you have.

8) When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. (Ah! Well, my friends will know that this is assbackwards as I am the one most likely to fall ... LOL!)

S. W. A. K.

Peace Pieces

2005-06-03T13:48:00.000-05:00

[sarcasm/humor]

Peace ... we all need some peace of mind, so I decided to post this bit of advice. It definitely worked for me and as we head into summer, we could all use some peace and calm. By following some simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found some inner peace. The title of the article is "How To Achieve Inner Peace: Finish all the things you have started".

So I woke up this morning and decided to follow the article's advice. I looked around the house to see all the things that I had started and never finished .... so before leaving the house, I finished the bottle of red wine, the bottle of white wine, the Baileys, three Bacardi Breezers, a bottle of Jack Daniels, a few ProZac, some Valium, some cheesecake and a half a box of chocolates!

You have NO idea how bloody peaceful I feel!

ROCKS!!!!!!

2005-05-10T18:04:00.000-05:00

Ok, a quick update on Michaela ... who is doing fine! Well her mom get's her to the Dr.'s office and he can not get the cyst out of her ear, so they send her to day surgery. What do they find when they finally get out the cyst? The cyst is actually a light colored rock that was resting up against her eardrum ... OUCHIE!

Anyway, they got it out and she is doing great, just in time for her baby brother's 2nd birthday! Peanut's (Michaela's brother) birthday was a blast and enjoyed by all. The theme was Thomas the Train and he had such a great time! Of course he received lots and lots of trains from everyone. One of the best gifts though was a gravel pit made by his Pappy and Mom, filled by his family and lot's of the nice metal Tonka dozers, backhoe etc for loads of playing!

Isn't that just the perfect gift for a little boy?!? Actually though all of the kids, at one time or another, were in the pit playing with the "heavy" equipment. One question that was heard was ... why rocks? Well, his mom thought about it long and hard and with cats in the family and in the neighborhood, she really didn't wanna make a spa sized litter box ... LOL! She figured that small gravel would be just as much fun and more sanitary!

It was a beautiful day and most of the family was there. You know, one of those nice days, where you can just sit outside, watch the kids play and chat for hours!

Those days ROCK!

2005-04-15T09:47:00.000-05:00

IS THIS LIKE GOLF?

I mean aren't they the ones always losing their balls in the woods? *snicker*

I decided to post some pictures of my neice, Michaela, today because she is on my mind. You see her mother picked her up from school yesterday because she was complaining that her ear hurt very badly. Well after a trip to the Dr. it was determined that she had a cyst in her ear that needed to be removed. So, this morning they are at the specialist's office having this cyst removed.

I know she is going to be fine ... she's just on my mind this morning and I wanted to share some pictures of this wonderful little girl.

2005-04-15T09:46:00.002-05:00

MISS!

I did it ... I did it!

2005-04-15T09:46:00.001-05:00

SWING, AND A....

Come on ... come on ....

2005-04-15T09:46:00.000-05:00

BATTER UP....

Michaela, pitching to Dillon, after her Aunt Talicia gave some pitching lessons.

"Batta, Batta, Batta, Batta .... swing"

2005-03-04T08:55:00.000-06:00

T-Bone and Phsymom

The San Antonio Rampage mascot (T-Bone) delighted in razzing us Aeros fans during the game. Nice mascot, funny without being mean-spirited ... just wish I could have gotten a picture of him when he was holding up that "Go Aeros" sign! WaHaHaHaHa!

What's That Smell?

2005-03-02T17:27:00.000-06:00

This past weekend, some friends and I went to San Antonio. The main reason for the trip was to watch our Houston Aeros play the San Antonio Rampage at the SBC Center Sunday night; but if you know us, you know we had to do a bit of shopping too!

We drove (well actually Patricia drove) to San Antonio in a constant downpour. Only to arrive at the hotel to discover that our rooms were not all close together, as we were told they would be. Then we are informed that only one room is ready and they would call us when the other one was done. So we all sat up in the one room … starving … waiting on that phone call. An hour later, the room was done and we had extended checkout for free the next day because of the inconvenience.

The Hard Rock café was our next stop that evening and we had a great time and celebrated Kristin’s 16th birthday! Woooo Hoooo Kristin!!! The next day, we had a bite for breakfast and rode the trolley to Market Square for a bit of touristy shopping. We stopped at Margarita’s for lunch (the food was absolutely fantastic) and then headed back to the hotel for a quick nap before heading out to the game.

We were a bit leery walking through the parking lot of the SBC center … not having been to an opponent’s arena before and of course we were proudly wearing our Aeros' jerseys! Thank Goodness, no one accosted us in the parking lot … no rude comments … everyone was nice. We found our seats (right behind the Aeros bench) and were ready and pumped for the game to start.

Karen and I decided to take a break and grab a soda, so up the stairs we went. Of course, graceful as I am, on the way back to our seats, I mis-stepped, veering off into the seats to my left, whacking my thigh good …. LOL! … like some daft drunk! {may I say, big BIG bruise} I’m sure the Rampage fans around us were like, “Oh great that Aeros fan is already drunk!!!”

So then we are all sitting right behind the bench and individually we are thinking, “Oh Gawd! What is that smell?!” At that point we realize that it’s the players and their sweaty, stinky (apparently not washed) uniforms! Honestly, I don’t see how they do it! The stench wafting through the cracks between the glass was so overpowering it was nauseating! We talked it over and decided that they probably didn’t have time to wash them since they had three road games, in a row, in three different states. Still ….

Pheeeeeewwwwweeeeeeeee it STUNK! ROFLMAO!

On the way home, we were discussing the game and the players. We talked about how we couldn’t see much of the game while sitting directly behind the players; but how it was interesting to see their reactions during the game and to hear some of their comments. {Veilleux ... temper, temper ... LOL} When the light bulb went on, (over our heads, like a cartoon character), all at the same time. If … if we could hear the players, then {gulp} they could hear US!!!!

OH SHIT! Now you know that we were spouting off about how stinky they were … right? LOL! But what you didn’t know is that since we were so close to the players and couldn’t see much of the game … uhmmm … there were comments made like, “Wow! He is kinda cute isn’t he?” … and things of that nature.... Geeeez!

So now we are all embarrassed, laughing and trying to remember what other embarrassing comments we may have made. When Vickie pipes up, “Oh NO! I said the Wally thing!” We all laughed soooo hard that we almost made ourselves sick. Vickie says that Wally has a pretty face and perfect skin … so, during almost every game, when the opposing players start getting physical with him, she always shouts, “Don’t hit Wally in the face.” Yep, you guessed it! She yelled that out during the game! Poor “Wally” if that was heard, I bet the guys ragged him all the way home! {snicker}

So anyway, we had many laughs all the way home. We had fun and have many humorous memories of this past weekend. The funniest moment? When we drove through a stretch of highway with an ungodly odor permeating the vehicle … someone said, “Oh no what’s that smell? Someone check the back, I think we have an Aeros stow-a-way!” {laugh, snort, gasp, laugh}

NOTE: This pictures posted before this are of the game (Aeros vs. Rampage) on February 28, 2005.

2005-03-02T15:10:00.002-06:00

I see You!

2005-03-02T15:10:00.001-06:00

Ready ... Set ... GO!

2005-03-02T15:10:00.000-06:00

Oh Man Am I Tired!

2005-03-02T15:08:00.000-06:00

Nuh Uh ... No way you're getting by ME!

2005-03-02T15:07:00.001-06:00

Drop the PUCK!

2005-03-02T15:07:00.000-06:00

WE WON!

Squashed!!!!!

2005-03-01T18:19:00.000-06:00

OK, so this morning I had my scheduled mammogram. :( I was apprehensive about going, knowing that they were going to be tugging and contorting a part of my body that was already in pain! I went into the office (another very nice place I might add, see "Pain in the....), signed up and waited to be called back. While I was waiting, the receptionist gave me a pamphlet describing how they use these things called "mammopads". These mammopads supposedly cushion your breast while they are being squeezed within an inch of their life .... yeah ... roight that'll work!

A very nice nurse (?) calls me back and we begin the process. The assistant walks over and attaches this foam like pad about 1/8" thick to the metal plate. [nurse: "Ok, arch your back, but make sure your hips are lined up facing that away ... ok, now raise you arm .. uh huh that's right, just rest your hand on your head ... ok now look the other way and pull the other shoulder back."] All while the assistant is pushing, tugging and contorting a sensitive part of your anatomy into place. YEEEEOOOOOCH!!!!! [nurse again while she is stepping on the foot pedal that brings the two flat pieces together to squash you: "Yeah, perfect, right there, now don't move and hold your breath."]

The nurse pushes the button and with a sigh of relief you are released. Then she says, "OK, now let's do it again vertically." Nooooooooooo! You grit your teeth and make it through another one only to discover that a third picture is necessary ... yep cat-a-corner shot. I was like, "WHAT, you've got to be kidding?" You make it through the last shot ... red, scraped and silent, having had hands in places no one goes without being intimate. {shiver} Damn torture device is what it is!!! By the way, that mammopad ... well it sucks!

Well the mammogram ordeal is over and the doctor read it on site, declaring that everything looked normal. So now I'm at a loss ... the mammogram is normal, my heart is fine, my lungs are fine and after a week of anti-inflammatory medication... I'm still hurting. :( I see more doctor visits in my future.

A Pain In The ....

2005-02-24T16:19:00.000-06:00

BOOB … I know that many of you could care less about this; but for most women it’s a very scary situation and of course the first thing that pops into your head is the dreaded “breast cancer”! So, below is my story of my “Pain in the Boob.”

Saturday morning as I rolled over in my sleep, I was awakened by a sharp stabbing pain in my left breast. Woke me out of a damn nice dream too! OK, well after some self-examination, I could not find a knot, any discoloration, an insect bite or anything which might appear to have caused the sharp pains; but everytime I touched that area … YEEEOOOW!

I sat down and thought about the previous week and previous day, trying to remember anything that I could possibly have done to “damage” myself … nope … nothing. So I popped some “make the pain go away” medicine, continued on with my day and attended a Hockey game that night. It seems that the outing brought on a dull ache that wouldn’t go away. I took a bit more medicine when I got home and attempted to sleep.

The next day (Sunday) the dull ache was a bit more insistant, as were the sharp pains, so I did as little as possible (yeah, I know, you’re surprised …right?), took pain medication, and attempted to cat-nap. I woke up Monday feeling a bit better and having plans with my friend for at least ½ the day … I woke, dressed and we hit the road. By the afternoon, I was hurting again and on my way home (on denial lane) for much needed pain medication and a nap.

OK, so apparently the pain is NOT going away! I broke down and made a doctors appointment for Tuesday. Yes, I know it took me three whole days .. I kept hoping it would go AWAY!

So Tuesday, my sister comes over to ride with me to the doctors office.

… Let me take a moment here to tell you that this is a wonderful office with peaceful décor, calming atmosphere, soothing music and spa-like bathrobes to wear!…

{big sigh} OK, back to the doctor. I’m examined and she tells me that apparently the tissue in my breast is inflamed … yep, that’s right inflamed. She says that she doesn’t think it’s anything else; but that we will schedule a mammogram just to be safe. So here I sit, taking anti-inflammatories since Tuesday and entering my scheduled mammogram into my calendar.
I still have the upcoming mammogram to get through and as you ladies know, that is PAINFUL! Geez, I mean surely with technology they could find some other way to do this!?! The appointment is March 1st; and I’m sooo NOT looking forward to the experience; but I’ll make sure and post how it goes.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2005-02-14T18:28:00.000-06:00

OK, it's Valentine's Day .... where is my chocolate damnit?!?! I want my chocolate and I want it now! OH! {smiles as co-worker drops off handfull of Valentine's chocolate at desk} 'Scuse me for a moment while a peel some foil ... LOL!

Mmmmmm, ok that's much better. Now I can focus and concentrate .... you ladies understand, right? {looks over at chocolates} Hold on just a second ... {grabs another one, peeling the foil quickly} Hmmmm, ok where was I ... Oh yeah focusing.

This weekend a group of friends and I went out to a little dive North of town to listen to the band and play some pool. Well, they played pool ... I talked to everyone, danced a bit and people watched. Anyway, I had a very good time ... even if I was designated driver. {big grin} Yep, that was me this time ... so no tequila shots for me!

{reaches over and quickly unwraps another piece of chocolate}

Well ... uhmmm .... I just wanted to drop a line wishing everyone a Happy Valentine's ... gotta go finish off this chocolate before it's time to head home! LMAO!

Jus' Sleepwalkin' Through My Life ....

2005-02-04T16:52:00.000-06:00

If you’ve never heard Josh Gracin sing “I Want To Live”, you’ve missed out. I like country music … don’t love all of it … but I like it … like some songs/artists quite a bit and grew up surrounded by it. Actually though, I prefer rock/pop/alternative music.

This said, I must tell you that Josh Gracin is one powerful new country singer. He sings with such emotion and depth, that you feel it humming through your body. To me "I Want To Live" is one of those songs that makes you sit up and take notice. Notice of how you are living your life ... or are not.

Check him out and check out this song at www.joshgracin.com

I Want To Live

Sometimes I feel like I need to shake myself, to wake myself;
I feel like I’m just sleep walkin’ through my life.
It’s like I’m swimmin’ in an ocean of emotion,
But still, somehow, slowly goin’ numb inside.
I don’t like who I’m becomin’, I know I’ve gotta do somethin’,
Before my life passes right by.

I want to cry like the rain, cry like the rain,
An’ shine like the sun on a beautiful mornin’,
Sing to the heavens like a church bell ringin’,
Fight with the devil an’ go down swingin’,
Fly like a bird, roll like a stone,
Love like I ain’t afraid to be alone.
Take everything that this world has to give;
I wanna live.

Sometimes I wonder why I work so hard to guard my heart,
Well, I hardly feel anything at all.
I’ve spend my whole life buildin’ up this ivory tower,
Now that I’m in it, I keep wishin’ it would fall.
So I can feel the ground beneath me, really taste this air I’m breathin’,
And know that I’m alive.

I want to cry like the rain, cry like the rain,
An’ shine like the sun on a beautiful mornin’,
Sing to the heavens like a church bell ringin’,
Fight with the devil an’ go down swingin’,
Fly like a bird, roll like a stone,
Love like I ain’t afraid to be alone.
Take everything that this world has to give;
I wanna live.
I wanna live.

Somethin’ deep inside keeps sayin’ life is like a vapor;
It’s gone in just the twinklin’ of an eye.

I want to cry like the rain, cry like the rain,
An’ shine like the sun on a beautiful mornin’,
Sing to the heavens like a church bell ringin’,
Fight with the devil an’ go down swingin’,
Fly like a bird, roll like a stone,
Love like I ain’t afraid to be alone.
Take everything that this world has to give.
I wann take every breath I can get.
I wanna live.

Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy every blessed moment of it!

Hockey Anyone?

2005-02-01T16:07:00.000-06:00

The AEROS ROCK!

We WON! WOOOOO HOOOOO!

***Hockey Alert *** Hockey Chat *** Hockey Alert**
The following may be boring to some; but fun information for others. If you have an aversion to Hockey, read further at your own risk ... LOL

We played the Chicago Wolves and Josh (our goalie) was back in the crease. He seemed a bit slow starting off, but after two soft goals he was up and became "the wall". (Note: Josh Harding was hurt playing the Utah Grizzlies and had a grade 3 concussion) We were down 2 - zip, when in the second period Brandner slid face first across the ice to catch a missed opportunity and slide it in behind their goalie (yes I know their names, just too lazy to look up the oppositions names to check for spelling ... LOL!)

Bouchard slammed home a goal and then with less than a minute left in the period and tied 2-2, Brent Burns (Burnzie) caught a pass from across the front of the net and stuck it in for the game winning goal! On a side note, team captain and one of my fave players, Kirby "Sheriff" Law had two assists.

To top it off, Dillon and my fave player, Derek "Boogeyman" Boogaard saw quite a bit of ice time during the game. At one point he "checked" an opponent into the half wall in front of the "visitors" bench. The "Wolf Pack" gathered up to make sure their player was ok and three of the players began to give Boogeyman a hard time. All of them backing off except for Kip Brennan, who ended up on the losing end of a bout of fistacuffs.

All in all, it was a fast paced, action filled evening that ending with the home team winning! Who could ask for anything more!?!

A Musical Interlude ....

2005-01-28T17:09:00.000-06:00

My friend tells me that whenever she hears this song that she things of me. After reading the lyrics (raised eyebrow) I'm not quite sure what to think about that. LOL! The following lyrics are to the song "Hell Yeah" by Montgomery Gentry, a rockin' country duo.

...He works way too much for way too little

He drinks way too early till way too late

He hasn't had a raise since New Year's Day

In eighty-eight ... gets trampled on by everyone

Except when he comes in here

And he's the product of the Haggard generation

He's got a redneck side when you get him agitated

He got the gold toothed look from a stiff right hook

He's proud he took for his right wing stand on Vietnam

Says he lost his brother there

He yells out Johnny Cash

And the band starts to play

A Ring of Fire as he walks up

And stand there by the stage

And he says

Hell Yeah!

Turn it UP!

Right On!

Hell Yeah!

Sounds Good!

Sing that Song!

Guitar man playin' all night long

Take me back to where the music hit me

Life was good and love was easy

She's got an MBA and a plush corner office

She's got a don't mess with me attitude

She'll close a deal she don't reveal that she can feel

The loneliness the emptiness

Except when she comes in here

She's the product of the ME generation

She's got a rock and roll side when you get her agitated

She got the tattoo there on her derriere from a spring break dare

In Panama where love was all she thought she'd ever need

She yells out to the band

Know any Bruce Springsteen

The she jumps up on the bar

And she, and she starts to scream

She says

Hell Yeah!

Turn it UP!

Right On!

Hell Yeah!

Sounds Good!

Sing that Song!

Guitar man playin' all night long

Take me back to where the music hit me

When life was good and love was easy

Yeah, Yeah

Can or can't you get my mind off thinkin' 'bout

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday

Hey, Hell Yeah!

Hell Yeah!

Turn it UP!

Right On!

Hell Yeah!

Sounds Good!

Sing that Song

Guitar man playin' all night long

Take me back to where the music hit me

When life was good ....

* TGIF *

2005-01-28T16:55:00.000-06:00

Thank Goodness it's Friday! This weekend has seemed neverending and I would like nothing more than to go spend about 12 hours in bed with a few good books ... but of course as all of you other parents know, that is not likely to happen... LOL! Actually, Dillon and I have a full, busy weekend planned.

Tonight we (dad, Dill and I) are going out to eat seafood with a friend (waves hello to Carol) and her family. I'm looking forward to going to this restaurant, as quite a few people have raved about it; but I've never been there. After dinner, I'm either going to go over to Carol's house or do the dreaded laundry at home. :D Geeez, I hate laundry!

Saturday morning (late morning lol) it's off to the grocery store. Then it's back home to get ready and go to my oldest niece's birthday party. Then I'll have to leave the party and drive across town to my Aunt's house and pick her and my Uncle up, to go to the hockey game ....
GO AEROS!!!!!!!!

Dillon and I are staying the night with my Aunt and visiting another Aunt Sunday for Sunday lunch. We will then head for the house and probably fall out on each of the two sofas at the house ... LMAO! We will play couch potato for what is left of the day and try to force ourselves to do a bit of housework. COS - You know the older I get the more I realize that a [sterile] perfectly clean home is a sign of insanity .... a bit mussed home is a home that's truly lived in!

Somewhere in this full weekend, I need to dye my hair ... what you thought this was natural?!? ::snicker:: ... and ask my friend Carol to cut it for me. Wish me luck and have a gloriously fantastic weekend ... even if you never leave the bed (BIG GRIN)!

Place "stress dot" here!

2005-01-27T16:12:00.000-06:00

Today at work, we had a Wellness Festival. The "Festival" showcased vendors and physicians from our area, covering things like physical fitness to eye care. There was a chiropractor, a dental group, three eye centers and they had testing for your cholesterol levels and your blood pressure. An area was set up for blood donations and there were booths set up for the vendors who carry our employee benefits.

I was pleasantly surprised that it was actually quite informative and that there were many services that I was eligible for that I had no idea existed! I gathered much information, some little promotional goodies and had a good time. One nifty item that was handed out, was a "stress dot." This small dot is placed on your hand, and similar to a mood ring changes colors when your very stress free (blues), mildly stressed (greens) and severely stressed (orangey earth tones).

I laughingly mentioned that I should probably place mine on my forehead, so that co-workers could tell immediately when to go the other direction and leave me the bleedin 'ell alone! ... LMAO!

Actually, my blood pressure was good and my stress levels have been blue and green allllll day! :D

Doing the HAPPY Dance!!!

2005-01-26T16:22:00.000-06:00

*does the happy dance around and around*

I got my truuuuuck .... I got my truuuuuuck ... laaast niiiiiiight! Wooo Hoooo!

My truck looks beautiful and Mr. Tony did a wonderful job. I even drove to town last night to do a few errands ... :D I'm looking forward to this weekend and the driving I'm gonna be doing! I told my son to enjoy it while he can, because the new will wear off quickly and I'll revert back to the "never leave the house" slug! LOL!

Well, I've tried a couple of times to blog the past week, to end up with it lost in space somewhere. I seem to be having the absolute worst luck with computers here lately ... LOL! So here I am trying ... trying again. If this one doesn't save, GRRRRRRRR *shakes fist at computer* I'll throw this bugger out the window! Uhmmm, I'm just kidding ... really I am.

Hmmm, ok well I think this is it for today ... catch'ya on the fly!

Karen

It's Monday sniffle and I miss my .... TRUCK!

2005-01-17T15:36:00.000-06:00

Seriously! I think I'm going through withdrawals. Two weeks! My truck has been in the body shop for TWO weeks! I've always been pretty much a "homebody", but I find myself thinking of places I think I need to go. Then I remember that my truck is not there, and I'm like, "Oh nevermind!"

Oh, how I long for the days I could walk out the door, jump in my truck and take off wherever I wanted to go!

Alas, it is my own fault. Around Christmas I had a wee accident with a concrete column ... all my fault, the column never saw it coming. LMAO! After wading through the questions and paperwork with the insurance company and then the adjustor ... it was off to the body shop. My father, who is disabled and lives with me, has a car ... I carpool with my best friend and co-worker ... so I thought, "why waste money on a rental?" I know that if I want or need to go do something that I can use my Dad's car .... or even my friend's car, who lives next door.

"So just what is your problem?", you say. It's just not the same! Not only did I not realize how much I would miss MY truck; :( but when I called the body shop today, I was told that it definetly would not be done til at least the end of the week.

NOooooooo! I need my truck!

I'm tired, stressed and depressed over financial stuff, I miss the freedom of my truck, and I've apparently been rude to my best friend today ... and ... and ... *pout* ... and ...it's MONDAY! Aarrrrrrgh! I hate Mondays!

WhineyAzz
aka: phsymom
aka: Karen

Rednecks online .... WHAT?

2005-01-13T15:00:00.000-06:00

Ok, my friend Carol began blogging a couple of weeks ago (It's All About Us), so I signed up to be able to add my .02 to her blogs. Then I got to thinking, "Hey this is kinda cool and I need to set up my own blog." TaDa! Here we are!

Problem ... what problem?! ::sigh:: Ok yeah there's a problem. I'm sitting here looking at this screen trying to come up with something interesting or funny to talk about and coming up a friggin blank. My palms are beginning to sweat ... something interesting ... something funny ... who was I kidding ... Aaaahhhhh! My life is boring, what would anyone find interesting about my days?

::deep breath::

Ok so maybe I don't have some extraordinary life; but hey interesting stuff happens to me ... or to my family ... or to my friends ... OK I can do this! Yes, it could be fun!

HOLD on World ... there's another redneck online!

When Life Bites

***UPDATE*** OPENS TOMORROW!!!!!

Huh?

Loss

Really?!

Fly-By

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Melancholy Christmas

I'm a Grinch

I need a Nap

Thankful

Stones

Kidney Stone

Update

On The List

I Confess

Where did the week go?

Family

Invisible Illness Week

30 THINGS ABOUT MY INVISIBLE ILLNESS YOU MAY NOT KNOW

It's a Mess

I Believe

Fires and Floods

Fast and Furious

Stand Back Up

Parkinson's

Stressin'

Financial Pill

Pain Full

Dreams and Imagination

Today

Spoon Theory

Borders Going Out of Business

Squeeeee!

Gravity

My Life Update

DePreshUn

Sleepy!!!!!!

Crappy, shit, ass, DAMN ...

Thumpity, thump ... thump ....

Snap, Crackle, Pop

I plead insanity

I Wanna make a snowman!!!!

HNT: In a Halloweenie frame of mind

Welcome to the Pink Poodle Parlor ...

Going to the Chapel...

Grease and sooty black smoke

Rock the boat .. uh board ... baby.

Puck It!

Karen Needs ....

Packing my depends!

Merits of Conformity?

Shit Happens!

Countdown: 52 days

Is this a hair in my cereal?

RTF: The Speed of Light

Don't You Love Telemarketers? NOT!!!!

Random Thought Friday.

Random thoughts and dreams ....

Liquids

S.W.A.K.

Peace Pieces

ROCKS!!!!!!

What's That Smell?

Squashed!!!!!

A Pain In The ....

Happy Valentine's Day!

Jus' Sleepwalkin' Through My Life ....

Hockey Anyone?

A Musical Interlude ....

*** TGIF ***

Place "stress dot" here!

Doing the HAPPY Dance!!!

It's Monday *sniffle* and I miss my .... TRUCK!

Rednecks online .... WHAT?

UPDATE OPENS TOMORROW!!!!!

* TGIF *

It's Monday sniffle and I miss my .... TRUCK!